Don't Be THAT Wedding Guest!

​  I’ve been photographing weddings for around 10 years now. I photograph an average of about 30 weddings per year so you can imagine with around 300 weddings under my belt I’ve seen some crazy things go down at weddings some amazing and some not so amazing. I want to focus on some of the not so amazing things I have seen guests do at a wedding and give you some general tips on how to NOT be THAT guest at the next wedding you attend.      

Cell Phones and Taking Photos:  Don’t be THAT guest that ruins the professional photographer or videographer’s shots. I am a fun loving, easy going guy but I have to keep it real here and tell you that your cell phone photo of the first kiss or any other moment during the wedding day, is not more important than any of the photograph or videos that the bride and groom have paid A LOT of money for their photographer and/or videographer to capture!

• I say this with love and understand that you want and have the right to capture moments for yourself on the couple’s wedding day. All I ask is that you be aware of your surroundings when you do so. When you are taking a photo of the first kiss make sure you are not stepping or leaning out into the isle and blocking the photographer’s shot. We use long lenses during a lot of the special moments in order to be non intrusive and allow those natural moments to happen, well, naturally. We do not want to be right up in the bride and grooms grill during the ceremony. It’s distracting for the couple and we would be blocking or hindering every guests view of the ceremony. If you're out in the isle you are almost certainly blocking or interfering with the professionals shot.
• Same goes for moments like the first dance. I once had a woman lean out into the isle during the first kiss to get a photo with her phone. I adjusted and got the shot but I could not frame it without her in the photo. So that woman is now a permanent fixture in possibly the most important moment of the wedding day. I politely mentioned it to her and asked her kindly to be more aware of where we are so she wouldn't get into any other shots by accident. Then during the couples first dance she walked right out into the middle of the dance floor with the bride and groom and continued to take photos of the couple. I had run up and tap her to ask her to move back to the edge of the dance floor otherwise she would have been in every shot.
• During family portraits please don't photograph over the photographers shoulder. I understand that its a rare thing to get the entire family together for a photo, but its hard and practically impossible to get everyone to look at my camera at the same time when 1 to 5 people are all pointing camera at them. No one wants a family photo with grandma and dad both looking in two completely opposite directions.

All I ask is to be mindful of where the professionals are set up and shooting when you are at a wedding. especially during the big moments. I am sure the last thing you would want would be to prevent the hired professional from capturing the special moments they are being paid to capture. Have fun and take photos but please just be aware.  

2.What to Wear: It can be very fun to dress up in those new dress clothes for a night out but there are a few things to think about before wearing that David S Pumpkins suit to the wedding.  Every wedding is different and some have their own special themes but there are some attire choices that make me cringe every time I see them.

• If you are not the bride, DO NOT wear a white dress! This seems pretty obvious but without fail I always see at least one wedding guest per year show up wearing a white dress. Guys, its ok to wear a white button down shirt but, leave that flashy white jacket with the black satin lapels home. The goal is NOT to outdo the bride and groom on their wedding day. I once saw a bride brought to tears because another guest was wearing a white dress and she thought that guest looked “prettier” than she did on her wedding day.
• Guys please don't wear shorts. I can count on 2 fingers the times that it was acceptable to wear shorts to a wedding. The first was a destination wedding in Punta Cana and the second was a small Hawaiian themed surprise wedding. Both weddings had invitations that literally said shorts were acceptable attire and the surprise wedding was disguised as a Hawaiian themed family reunion. When their family showed up for the reunion they were surprised with an impromptu wedding ceremony. Shorts with a sports coat is a fun look for the horse track but not really wedding appropriate unless you are explicitly told other wise.
• Jeans are also a No No. I love wearing a nice pair a jeans paired with a button down, tie, and sports coat as much as the next guy, but please save that look for the rehearsal dinner and wear a nice pair of dress pants to the wedding. I promise you that you will be the only one wearing jeans at the wedding unless the bride and groom are friends with members of the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club or are friends with ACTUAL Cowboys. Both scenarios are  true stories. I photographed and wedding out in Lancaster PA and the bride and groom were very into horse back riding. One of their guests was an honest to god cowboy with the hat, fancy duster coat, western style shirt, bolo tie, jeans, and a bad ass handlebar mustache. I took a photo of him that you would think was taken in 1867. The Hells Angel biker that was a guest at a wedding I was shooting, he wore jeans and his “cut” and well no one is  going to tell that man what to wear.
• Bottom line is try not to wear something that could upstage the bride & groom on their wedding day.

3. Toasting the couple: Toasts and speeches are staples at every wedding. Normally the people closest to the couple, like the best man, maid of honor, and father of the bride, will say a few kind words about what makes the bride and groom such a perfect match. It is not an open mic night though! Some of the most awkward and cringeworthy moments I’ve ever witnessed at a wedding are when a guest who's had a few drinks grabs the mic for an impromptu speech. I get it. You've been friends with the groom since you were kids and you've had 5 glasses of red wine. You want to tell everyone what an amazing guy he is but you end up referencing the bachelor party and 3 ex girlfriends while conveying your message. Your “I love you man moment” just turned into a “what did he just say” speech and the bride and groom’s first “ you did what!?” fight.
    Remember these simple words of wisdom: Only give a speech if the the bride and groom ask you to give one.

4. Dance Floor Etiquette:  Its party time! The best parts of being a guest at a wedding are the awesome food, the awesome drinks, and the awesome dance party.  Not many rules here. Have a blast and dance your ass off! Sing along to your favorite songs with your friends. The more fun you are having out there on the dance floor the better! Some of the most fun images I capture on the wedding day are of the bride and groom dancing their asses of with their closest friends and family. Grandma dancing to Lil Jon, Dad’s air guitar solo during Journey, the best man dressed in a full chicken costume franticly dancing with everyone to the chicken dance song. All are amazing moments! Just maybe leave your drink on your table cause nothing kills a dance party quicker than broken glass on the dance floor.

So there you have it! Those are the biggest tips I can give you as a wedding guest. Remember to just have fun and enjoy the celebration with your friends and family. If you ever are unsure if you should do something just ask your self “would I want someone to do that at MY wedding?”

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think! Please Like, Comment, and  most importantly SHARE this post. I means a lot and maybe we can help prevent some cringe worthy moments!